The first time my now ex-partner committed an act of domestic violence was in 2010, while I was 6mths pregnant with our first child. He threw me against the wall. I forgave him, and I stayed. Our relationship was rocky. He had been cheating through the early stages of my pregnancy, and this continued till our son was born. The newborn days were hard. He would lie about his income and expenses, meaning I shouldered the majority of bills and my debts soon began to mount. Nonetheless, I soldiered on, thinking 'Well, he is the father of my kids. I should stand by him'.
We bought a house. The lies continued. The second time he comitted domestic violence he attempted to set fire to my car because I would not let him drive off with our son after an argument. He was removed by the police, and a second AVO was put against him. I was pregnant with our second child. Two kids, I thought, and I forgave him.
I now needed a family car, and I borrowed $3,000 from family. He had claimed he wasn't being paid at work and couldn't help- then walked in with a $2,500 bicycle.
It was getting harder to stand by him. But, I did. He began smoking marijuana, and developed alcoholisim. He tried to cheat. The third and final act of domestic violence soon followed.
He was meant to be caring for our children while I was at work. I arrived home to find him so drunk he could barely speak or stand. The kids were only 11mths and 2.5yrs old. I put the kids in bed and tried to talk to him about how inappropriate his drinking was. It caused an argument which ended when the neighbours heard me screaming, as he had twisted my wrist, and thrown me. The police arrived and he was arrested. When the case went to trial his bail was revoked as the court decided he posed a threat to myself and the children and he was jailed, on remand.
I took the opportunity to finally leave.
Now, 8mths later, I am healing. I am seeing a counselor and my children are settled. They have no contact with him. I am studying Beauty Therapy to build a career for myself, and a future for my family.
However, the debts remain. I share with him the mortgage on the house, $245k, and I have my personal debts amounting to $9,500. I have created gofundme page, reaching out for a little help
http://www.gofundme.com/My-Childrens-Future :-) Please support if you can, please share if you can.
I hope to open a small beauty studio in the house, when I take the title and mortgage on, so that I can provide free treatments for other women such as myself whose confidence and self-worth have suffered as a result of domestic violence.
Please help me with my journey out of the darkness- thankyou so much to all who've taken the time to read my story :-)
